piques et cœurs

the growing urges of an aging youth to live in the memories of his past continue to trouble my mind. I miss the recognition in the grocery store, the excited eyes upon my entry to the pub, the reknowned nature of the small town.that life feels so long ago. and my new life is improved […]

maintenance

40 hours a week, every week, until I die. the wife, the house, the kids, the nice car. is it a fair trade?is that a good deal? some days I feel ages behind and others I feel years ahead. some days I panic because my chest hurts and I’m gonna die before I complete even […]

disillusioned

(29/04)sometimes I look back at the replanting of my life. the cutting of roots, uprooting myself and dusting off the soil, planting me elsewhere – the grass was greener on this side. but the grass is not so green. the city eats me and chews me and spits me out sad, disillusioned, ripe with resentment. […]

abrasive environment

it’s so lonely out here. I look back at old photos and miss my friends. in my dreams I visit the grave of Hometown Will. I do the right thing, pay my respects, lay flowers or kick the headstone depending on how I’m feeling.I used to find company there, where I was buried. fraying connections […]

annual ceremonial reflective introspection

it’s that time of year again. the sun bares it’s weight on the pavement as waves of guilt and gratification swirl together to create an strange phenomenon wherein your mind takes a step back and, after months of ignoring it, the passage of time has caught up to you. between growing pains and ticking items […]

one in the chamber.

the air is thick and hard to swallow, sometimes. this funny thing keeps happening where I keep waking up. 38 hours at the grindstone. 40 hours of sleep. 20 hours screentime. it’s enough to drive anyone ballistic. so many great things happen in my personal life but their sharpness is dulled by the quiet collapse […]

what is even happening?

there are three types of person that wake up at 4:45 AM joggers, gym rats, and crazy people. as a firm member of the latter group, being a habitual platonic voyeur of the comings and goings of the great many inhabitants of this silly city brings me some amount of peace; only to be rudely […]

carbs, coffee, clubbing and cigarettes

sunday scaries get scarier my path of adulthood twists and winds, crawls uphill, tumbles down this funny thing keeps happening where every day I wake up and have to be conscious and existent another great day on the big green ball, hopeless to adequately understand that my life is just as deep and meaningful as […]

note to self.

the time will pass anyway. it’s such a optimistic nihilism prospect. the world will keep turning. your friends and family will grow old with you. you’ll make mistakes. you’ll hate yourself for it.but you’ll love.you’ll love the view.you’lll love your partner.you’ll love to dance and love to sing.it’s worth sticking around for. I don’t know […]

untapped

with or without me, the wheels keep spinning the hands keep turning the globe continues rotating I’m just here for the ride. stuck in this physical limbo between life and death, patiently waiting my turn to expire and enter the next stage whatever that may be. my grasp on reality loses its grip occasionally. I […]