nobody

i’m lovesick again.

and there’s and emphasis on the ‘sick’

i have this inhumane quota of satisfaction i need to fill with other people’s infatuations and

i’m sorry.

i’m making my words big on purpose so i don’t go toe-to-toe with the burning truth.

 

 

i’m so fucking lonely

and i just want someone to hold,

and all i spend my limited time on earth doing is listening to depressing music and feeling sorry for myself and keeping it all inside because i don’t want people to know how fucking dreadfully lonely i am because

well

they don’t want to hear about it.

 

i’m so fucking desperate to feel a sense of warmth in my heart that it leads me to these thundering existential crisis’

and these ridiculously enigmatic thoughts

and sometimes they overwhelm me so much that i lock myself away until i can find the courage to put on my happy mask again

and i can go back to pretending everything is just fucking dandy

 

it leaves me with nobody.

nobody has ever loved me.

nobody is ever going to love me.

 

i should just off myself so i stop feeling so empty.