I find myself wanting to be other people a lot.
And not as in I’m jealous of my peers, as a matter of fact that comes into play differently. No, I prefer to make up characters in my head and put them in scenarios with my peers. Such as school, parties and other social performances.
It sounds harmless on surface level, but I know for a fact it’s innately bad for my mental health in most ways. Because I imagine less and less of putting myself in different scenarios, and more and more about putting other versions of myself in current scenarios of my life. I like to imagine myself with a better physique going about school life. Maybe an added layer of charisma. Perhaps I’ll imagine a facelift as well.
My point is, I’m so unhappy with the way I am and the way my body is that I constantly daydream about being a different person. Someone I’m really not.
And while I’m ashamed of it – why wouldn’t I be, it’s embarrassing – I’m mostly just unnerved by it.
Unnerved by my own desire to be someone I’m not.
Am I wrong to be? Unnerved, that is?
Enigmatic Thoughts 