Two Questions.

When I went to College, there was always this foreign stigma about Monivae that one can’t really describe with words, only with obscene hand gestures and equally colourful language. Frankly, some of the folk that migrated from Monivae to College didn’t help thy School of Catholics’ reputation (not looking at anybody in particular, of course 😉 )

Monivae always seemed like Russia in the cold war, to me. Super tense, very differently cultured, packed full of mono-saturated 2D models of people, with as many layers to them as there were layers in communist propaganda (Capitalists suck. Join the army.) .

I give you this context, dear readers, because you’ll need it before I segue into the main topic of today’s pretentious twattery. And that topic is:

The Two Main Questions I Get Constantly Asked and Will Now Only Answer Here and If Anyone Asks Me Them Again I’ll Probably Consider Suicide.

1. “What is/was it like at Monivae/College?”
2. “Which school do you prefer?”

Let’s start with the first one.

As an immigrant to the behemoth titan campus known as Monivae College, I get the very unique and intriguing view of having been to both schools. It became very clear immediately that both schools are (somewhat, at least) paranoid of what the other school thinks about them (Cold War metaphor shows itself again. See what I mean?). I mean, to be perfectly real with you all,
Why do you care?

Do you really want to know what it’s like to be surrounded by posh students blending iPhones and $100 bills just to see what happens? Or do you really want to know what it’s like being thrown into Bible study with a heap of God-Loving wankers?

No!

Nobody actually cares about that!

You all just want to know if the stereotypes shown above are true. If College people are really as posh as they seem. Or if Monivae people are really as cunt-like as they come across.

And upon hearing me denying those stereotypes as true, you’ll just put it down as being a biased view. You’ll stick to your old beliefs because that’s easier than having to adopt new insults because they old ones were blatant lies.

 

If you are actually hunting for the truth, here it is:

Monivae is a massive, scary campus when you’re new, but it grows on you after about a week and some help from people who have a patience made of steel. The people here are interesting, often funny, reasonable and well-adjusted to today’s culture. Of those people, the ones who bear the weight of putting up with me are some of the funniest, most awesome people I know. And I’m forever in their debt for making me feel so welcome in a place that feels so strange. The teachers are, for the most part, relatively chilled out. Some of them have defining characteristics and a sense of humour (thank god). The pressure to do well is sincerely diminished to a point where I can barely feel it. Whether that be due to the environment or due to the fact that I’m less eager to dick around in class without my OG ragtag gang of pals.

It’s not without it’s faults, though.

At College, the year levels are incredibly tight-knit. As a collective, they’re all very interactive with each other, with small groups of friends obviously branching out and becoming their own social ordeal.
This social structure is absent at Monivae.
Groups and cliques of friends are incredibly defined and the year level is equally divided. Some groups are abnormally large, others can be just 2 people hanging. Overall, there’s nothing to stop groups from integrating, you have a bunch of drifters. But at the end of the day, it’s incredibly obvious where some battles between friendships have been fought and collectives of people have taken sides.

 

 

For the longest time I considered The Hamilton and Alexandra College my home.
In a way, I still do.
The people closest to me know that I feel alienated from the people who share my blood – my physical family. I feel as though I’m a total outcast from them and their line of culture.
The friends I made at College are the closest thing to family I will ever have.
Almost never did I feel outcasted, ashamed or alone. And whenever I did, they made sure I was okay and feeling fine.
The campus is split into two pieces, but is relatively grounded and confined to the one large area. Crossing from one side of the school to the other has always been a pain, but the place has this unusually homely vibe that I couldn’t replicate with words if I tried. The best memories of my life can often be found on the Simons Auditorium Stage, in front of the Year 12 Locker-Room, The Drama Room, The Soundhouse and to the left of S2, or rather, The WallBall Court.
The people there are courageous, always funny, excitable and sincerely warm-hearted. And of those folk, the people who I consider family, well, they should know who they are. Humper, McNugget, JK, Teenee, Julian, Mr. School Captain, Mrs. School Captain, Sophia, Big Nose Lad, John Lee-ee-ee, Barry Beal, the lanky twins, I could go on forever.
Their existence alone has made mine truly amazing, and I thank whichever one of them might be reading this for helping me become the human being I am today over the course of 4 years worth of Simon Cowell prints, Minecraft654s and pure, unfiltered banter.
The teachers carry a bit of bias because I’ve grown to know them over a period of time. But with big-shots like The Three Bens, Silva and Mrs. Bradbeer, it’s impossible to ignore their genuine attempts at trying to make me a fully functioning bit of youth. For that, I salute their efforts. Better luck next time.

College isn’t without it’s faults either, though.

As much as I could rant about how beautifully elegant and eloquent the fantastic Hamilton and Alexandra College is, it’s certainly got it’s downsides.

Here’s a big one.

Money.

20 grand a year.

Jesus.

Now that’s out of the way, there are a few more.
The pressure to succeed and go for an A+ every time is outstandingly stressful. I pretty much flunked every class I took because of my utter failure to attempt knowing that I’d have to go head-to-head with that pressure.
Though it’s subtle, College has it’s own structured popularity scheme. And being subject to it was a nightmare, mostly, but pretty avoidable given that everyone was super close anyway.

 
Alright, to conclude this fucking essay worth of reading, I shall answer the question.
The question on everybody’s minds,
The question that changed regional Victoria,
The question that shook the nation,

“Which school do you prefer?”
Well.
To tell you the truth.

I don’t know.

My time so far at Monivae has been consistently enjoyable throughout the whole thing, which is more than what I can say for College.

Butttt, College is where I became the person I am today.

Butttt, Monivae has the better Mini-Pizzas (And only for $1! College’s canteen prices continuously unpleasantly surprise me)

Butttt, College has a better Hockey and Soccer team.

Butttt…

You see where I’m going here?

Both schools have their pros and their cons, and at the end of the day whichever school is better is entirely subjective as to what attractive qualities one school might have.

And with that, I shall stop typing as to put your eyeballs at ease.

Thank you, College, for the memories you’ve gifted me with.
Thank you, Monivae, for giving me the possibility of a social life on a silver platter.
And thank you especially, dear reader, whoever you are. Even if you don’t care about what I have to say, giving this page views inflates my ego beyond belief.