Worthwhile.

Normally, I feel like my existence is unjustifiable on a cosmic scale.

What I mean by that is, I feel like I don’t deserve to be here, whether for better or worse. My life on this hunk of rock doesn’t seem worthwhile, and a lot of times I’m tempted to just exit my existence so I don’t have to deal with the tediousness of it all.

 

The faded Hamilton lights reflecting off of the tears streaming down my cheeks as smoke invades my lungs like the piercing depressing thoughts – jarringly effecting my overall health.

Those nights, I want to do nothing but stop existing.

 

But sometimes, a few shining stars make my worthless existence worthwhile.

And even though they know exactly who they are, it feels good to remind them.

For the past few days, a major black hole seems to have sucked in all the light the night sky could have potentially given me, leaving me cold and hopelessly alone.

 

But those stars have shined through regardless (despite obvious physics-related contradictions. I guess your guys’ love is just outside the boundary of this physical plane) and for that, I cannot express my infinite gratitude and thanks.

thank you for making me feel needed.
thank you for making me feel special.
thank you for being around when I’m shitty and quiet.
thank you for the goofs and gaffs.
thank you for trying to make me smile or laugh.
thank you for the hugs.

and most importantly

thank you for making me feel worthwhile.

 

if all this positivity keeps up, maybe I’ll stick around on this garbage planet and live out my garbage existence as a garbage marshmallow boye after all.

🙂

 

 

 

(disclaimer: no guarantee my mood won’t switch and force me into a shitty moldy corner of depression again)
(sorry.)