Finale.

things don’t feel like they used to.

these past few days i’ve felt out of my own body, i have to look at mirrors from time-to-time to make sure i’m still real.

it’s hard to explain, but imagine being constantly aware of the passage of time and how little you can do to stop it’s process.

 

maybe i’m just going crazy.

 

what’s more crazy is how these past few weeks have absolutely flown by, and i’ve only got a few days until the real mayhem begins and everything about my life flips upside down.

my life feels like a tv show sometimes and if that were the case, these past few days and the next few remaining are a season finale.

pretty shortly, it seems, everything is going to change.

 

I speak for my fellow student demographic when I say – moving into the new academic year is always kind of eye-opening. an awakening, if you will.

more to the point, moving into year 12 is fucking terrifying.

i’m not nearly ready enough to begin the last year of my student life. i am nowhere near as responsible, mature and intelligent as the year 12s before me.

 

but maybe that was always the case? from the outside looking in, the year 12s were always seen as intellectually superior, natural leaders.

but already, my experience of year 12 has understood that really, we’re all just kind of trying really hard to find out what we’re meant to be doing and hoping that it all works out.

is it so wrong to suggest that none of us have it figured out? that we’re all equally as confused about the whole life thing?

 

the past few weeks are what I imagine Will-from-the-future looks back on when he thinks about “teenagehood”

I hope that I’ve packed them enough with awesome memories to feel adequate with all i’ve achieved with the small amount of youth i’ve been gifted.

 

i got told i obsess over youth too much.

i hope that changes over the course of the new year.

i want to think less about what little time there is left, and instead consider how much I’ve got left to do.

it’s a bit of a pipe-dream, but i’m hoping i don’t find myself bitching about how school is over at the end of the year (which I undoubtedly will)

 

i love you all very much and cannot wait to see how the next few days play out.

sorry for the absence of my writing, i’ve just been caught up doing everything else.