untapped

with or without me, the wheels keep spinning

the hands keep turning

the globe continues rotating

I’m just here for the ride.

stuck in this physical limbo between life and death,

patiently waiting my turn to expire and enter the next stage

whatever that may be.

my grasp on reality loses its grip occasionally.

I forget why I’m here. what I’m aiming for. where I should be.

I forget that the gift of existence has allowed me free roam to achieve (or not achieve) anything within my scope.

I forget that my time is finite and I just

ride the wave. roll with the punches. watch the sunrise and set.

I fill space and take air. earn capital and spend it. wash clothes and dirty them.

the cycle is ongoing and unforgiving and unstoppable and perilous but so, so beautiful.

the days are long but the years are short.

I feel like I’m in a waiting room and my number was called while I was in the bathroom.

my moment has passed and now I just sit.

and wait for nothing.

the sense of carpe diem I once held dear has rotted away.

the eagerness to open up the world has crumbled.

my objectives have collected dust and I sit.

and wait.

for nothing.

I’m not depressed. I’m not unhappy.

I just am.